People often aren’t sure what should be included in a non-religious funeral or memorial service, but it’s actually pretty simple: focus on telling the life story of the person you are there to honor and remember. It’s helpful to have one person designed to deliver this eulogy or life-story: that’s a huge part of what I do as a celebrant. I ask the family focused questions so I can write the life-story of the deceased. It’s also nice to invite others to share short memories. And a slide-show of photo is always deeply appreciated.
That said, it’s nice to have 1-2 readings to set the mood and tone for the day as well as to help guests process their grief.
Here are a few of my favorite non-religious readings.
“Something Beautiful Remains” Author Unknown
The tide recedes but leaves behind
bright seashells on the sand.
The sun goes down, but gentle
warmth still lingers on the land.
The music stops, and yet it echoes
on in sweet refrains…..
For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.
“Life Well Lived” Author Unknown
A life well lived is a precious gift,
of hope and strength and grace,
from someone who has made our world
a brighter, better place.
It’s filled with moments, sweet and sad
with smiles and sometimes tears,
with friendships formed and good times shared,
and laughter through the years.
A life well lived is a legacy,
of joy and pride and pleasure,
a living, lasting memory
our grateful heart’s will treasure.
“Stop All the Clocks” —W. H. Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Short Quotations
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love. ” — Washington Irving
“Many people walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints on your heart.” —Eleanor Roosevelt.
“Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.” Lamartine
“We get no choice. If we love, we grieve.” – Thomas Lynch
There are no words deep enough and tender enough to soften your grief, or to lighten your burden. I know that the stars have all gone out, and the world seems poor and barren. Time, of course, will in some little degree dull the edge of pain. I wish I could write words of meaning enough to lessen your sense of loss. But I cannot. I know how I should feel under like circumstances, and so I know that my words are nothing.” – Robert G. Ingersoll
“Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them.” –George Eliot
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is greater.” But I say unto you, they are inseparable. —Kahlil Gibran, poet